Young Blood

Some people, you know, they'll never leave [:

Haven't told mummy about the Bangkok trip. People have been suggesting that I say I'm going to a chalet or sleepover & appear at home after 3 days. But the loot from BKK shopping will exposure my lousy sekret. Am gonna tell her after I get a job offer. And when I do, I wanna plan for another trip! Before the states and before BKK. Greedy I know. But, JOBBBBBBBB!!!!

Right now, I'd rather dedicate my life to finding employment than going to school. I will go through all the assessment centres and profiling and interviews! Like Max's nick: Pick Me Choose Me Hire Me! Don't wanna do anything school related. But I love Team FIN-tastic :D The best project group in my 4 years in university (:

Currently buried in the world of CIOs, cloud computing, IT and info systems. I'm damn un-techy la. Except for the social media part. But I'll prove myself and let the project prove to me it's something worthwhile.

& baby, money is oh so motivating!

Were we all born Superstars?

]:

Why we spend a quarter of our lives rushing essays and reports for school and then spend another quarter of it rushing the same things for work?

WHY?

:[

I also wanna be a Superstar la.

Bulletproof

It's indeed surreal that I'm heading to the States for Graduation Trip. It was like BAMbamBAMWHOA. But YEAH! We're going to the US of A :D

I guess mummy only had 2 days to change her game plan. Cos in the end, I booked my tickets before I got a job. Yeh, will be more pro-active now. PROMISE.

I think everything is just the way I want it right now? Maybe? Or maybe not. Since Lund, I've always felt being back home bores the hell of me that makes me who I am. I probably prefer the person I was in Lund. Going on Skype to screamshoutrant if something bothered me. Here, it's much unhealthier.

It's Week 7 & I haven't written a single shit for CP, or FYP as everyone knows it. ggxxttm. I'm such an optimist sometimes that I hate myself. At this point, I still have absolute faith of producing a mind-blowin' jaw-droppin' CP report & presentation in Week 13. But I also love that my optimism is contagious to some extent.

That day in the car, when our voices and laughter drowned the music from the radio, it was a really happy moment and I was really glad for friends like J and L.

Life points me in the wrong direction at times cos it stops me from truly feeling cos I'm afraid of losing.

I remember something bestest once told me. That when too much output is from one side it's unhealthy cos it tips the friendship balance. That's why he's bestest & nobody can beat that cos our balance was never tipped. But cos nothing is constant and although it never tipped, it kind of disappeared altogether.

Stereolove

Have been missing from blogosphere. Cos I now have a Tumblr! Was telling J that everyone who Tumblr sounds emo. Well, not me. I'm pretty sure I'm more emo here. And it'll stay this way I suppose. Too many memories & lost feelings here.

I'm pretty much an alcoholic, by any measurement or comparison. Abstinence for 1 week 4 days has rendered me pretty desperate. Thus, I have a 9/10-drunk bottle of Hoegarden beside the laptop right now. I won't usually drink especially if I've a deadline tomorrow.

Chingay was a bitch. I dislike my CP project. It's a management disaster. Period. But I believe this shit has done me some good. At least now I know that the real world sucks.

It's Valentine's Day tomorrow! It's interesting to think how my Valentine's Day each year has evolved over the years, since secondary school days. I've no time to think about this aspect of life right now, not because I'm not in the mood (like J), but because I've a different focus in life HAHA. I'm dead serious. HAHAHAHA. Cos I frigging need to find an awesome job. That I'll fall head over heels and be in love with it for the longest time to earn truckloads of money to satisfy all my materialistic wants and continue travelling the world.

where is the love

spent many days monitoring funshine's on cafe world.

spent half the afternoon looking at snow boots online.

& YESSS. 9am paper tmr and all will be done. no more nus exam no more freezing MPSH until a year later! okay, im sure the euphoria won't be that great, considering im already on semi holiday after psych paper.

looking at (and ended up buying) those boots made me feel like preparing for lund (: i can finally wear thick, long coats and leather boots, snow boots, furry boots for many many days! it's probably gonna be FREEZING. everybody if i freeze i'll be emo please station on skype in sunny singapore.

i had this sudden thought that TIME is the most powerful thing ever. it can make things happen. it can make things go away. it changed me. and there're regrets that time can make you forget. i guess most people regret not taking that step ahead. but being me and my impulsiveness and mindlessness, i always end up regretting that i had taken that step. BOOOHOOOO.

anyway, can't wait for tmr (:

cooking turkeys

hello i miss you.

everything in school is gonna end in less than a week. then comes preparation for lund. haha im so afraid of uncertainties and having no one i can fall back on.

psych paper wasn't too bad. & because of the apprentice programme i started psych really early and i hope it pays off. haha i hope i really did 'study harder' like what i've always been told. i don't know why i never put in 100%. might be laziness, might be cos i don't think doing well is all that important anyway. but this whole experience made me realise the kind of drive i could have. apprentice programme was fun. i guess it got me to think about my future a little more. and the people i met them were quite amazing. be it my fellow apprentice or the audi toshiba stanchart people who came to speak to us. never restrict yourself in your career paths. i hope my future is going to be as exciting as i am as i imagined (:

bad romance

it'll be so awesome if i could get hold of this penguin waffle machine. it's called woodles. such a kute name (: forgot when i started having this crazy obsession with penguins. & yes i want more penguin plush toys please thank you.

been studying at science library. it's the time of the year again. haha. im only there during exam periods every year. despite being from biz which is at the other end of school. but all the cp people are at science. and science has got awesome food. YUMYUM ayam.

so i kept staring at the table across us cos they kept eating at their picnic-study table. no idea why i kept staring at the twisties but today i got my own bag of twisties heehee thankyou.

siddy & i are profiling the crooks with the DISC personality assessment now. it's quite funny fun. ideal bf is IDC!

out of sight, out of mind

my psychology textbook says,

'out of sight, out of mind' >>>>>>> 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'

hahaha and of cos we agree. there's no anomaly in that even if we wish there was. and 'out of sight, out of mind' sounds too cruelly sad. my 'the heart soon forgets what the eye sees not' sounds much better.

suddenly i realise many people are heading to sweden next spring (: however unfamiliar we are, we're all from sunny singapore.

huiwen posted a poem i wrote in the organiser i gave her last year.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
My love for you,
Is ever so true.
Every morning you wake,
Eggs and toast i'll make.
Warm & fuzzy you'll feel,
Oranges i'll peel,
Just to make orange juice for you.
I'll go a thousand miles,
Just to make you smile.
Oh LeS,
We'll be so happy,
In our little love nest.

it's so funny. i forgot when i started coming up with these funny poems. i think i ever texted a super long one to my dear friend in far away land now. and of cos, the many random spurts of inspirations for poems during my dying days of mugging, right before i gave in to sleep. i suddenly miss all of that. just that i don't have such silly inspirations anymore.

remember hb september. november's so tough.

and i really need something to look forward to.

lund's almost powerless in that aspect.

zoo on a sunday

so it's gonna take a little more effort than i thought.

school really sucks. i know everything's gonna be over in less than two weeks. then i'll mug really hard for psych and malay. O that B minus essay is gonna deny me of my A for psych. so much for the minor surprise good grade for the 100 MCQ. then everything will end on December 2nd and i'll be counting down to lund. i'm less excited already. i wanna go because im tired of all this crap right now.

i wanna be greedy and say that i'm not happy.

)))))):

healthy text count

school has never felt so suffocating, draggy and boring since it started 2 years ago. im not sure whether if it's a year 3 thing and i've gone thru like a zillion projects by being in biz school and had a billionzillion project meetings with different people. doing the individual 35% HRM paper for end of term made those project seem so much worse. despite me being the crooks well-known slug i must say i was pretty efficient perhaps cos if i don't do it nobody will care haha.

saturday's test is a burden. i don't know how to study cos it will be a supplies anyway. im glad there's the zoo outing on sunday.

yesterday while writing in my pen&paper diary i ended up with a line saying recently i''m beginning to realise the gap between being generally happy and genuinely happy. im glad my affective responses are improving from last time when i couldn't even define sadness and anger haha.

lund is 2 months plus away. i really cannot wait to be done with this sem it's horrible i need to send out distress signals everyday cos everything is just so B O R I N G .

they've got all the right moves and all the wrong faces

because of who you are, you can surprise people with the tiniest bit of thoughtfulness. THAT'S CHUCK BASS for you. gossip girl is going to ruin my life cos i've got many deadlines looming.

lund is very exciting and yet im scared. of all the uncertainties. I'M BRAVE AND I'LL DO JUST FINE.

since then, nothing much has changed and sea lion talk is like a prolonged msn convo. i get it now that to some people, your always the one talking and sharing; and to others, your always the one being there and listening.

and of cos im trying to fix things that i've broken. or i think i might have caused cracks in it. im trying but it's very frustrating. but for all it's worth. for the past 6 years and counting.

cooler than the flip side of my pillow

i can't wait for tmr it's one of the rare times in recent days that i can truly say TGIF! goodness. the past few weeks have been crazily overwhelming with work, setbacks, emotions and everything. after i submit my psych term paper tonight i can be truly unburdened! at least for awhile. and of course an awesome oktober :DDD

mebbe i should make a mental note and remind everyone to remind me that i shouldn't see alcohol during any of the celebrations. haha no more out-of-control moments for me cos ssf's not around anymore. or mebbe it works the other way round cos i wouldn't be troubling anyone anymore.

im catching cloudy with a chance of meatballs tmr with lexy and simmy. HAHAHA. in 3D!! im so excited. and the 3D ticket cost freaking 13 dollars. i know boys hate spending so much on watching CARTOONS. and jimmy too, i know you know you'll watch it if you didnt have handball right *BIG SMILE FOR YOU (=* cloudy's gonna be more than awesome if they can rain me globs of cookie dough!

im turning 21 soon. i used to think there isn't much in my life that i would change if i could. but after an unexpected session with a random school person kinda made me change my mind. i wanna change alot of things which is biz school related. really. like being more involved with the things and people in biz.

lund is 3 months away. that's really soon. there's just so much to do. im glad the lund people are all so on the ball cos they send me textes to ask me about housing, flights and stuff. im such a slug when it comes to all these admin stuff. and mummy keeps saying i should've gone on exchange this sem. "see la, all your hc friends are there right now. if you go your can fly around and visit each other. so fun." yesyes i know. and i know her point is that i made sacrifices because of canoe polo which she thinks aren't worth it.

despite the heartbreak, cp is probably the best thing that happened to me in university. so its worthy of everything.

AGM next tuesday. im gonna bring popcorn seeds to the conference room and see if we can pop the popcorn using the radiation from our handphones.

#182.

ONE MORE DAY (+ a few more hours cos the paper's at 5PM)
to liberation.



my dear friends,
please wait for me to play.

#180.

finally the sense of urgency. three days left only!!!!
surveys of 5 countries to read. so many pagesssss. of economics, politics, firm strategies. see, doing business very not easy.
the japan one was interesting though, they mentioned uniqlo!!!!
hahaha that was like *DINGDINGDING* despite the boring looooong texts in the pdf file.

and i have to say that my brother is one of the most understanding person on earth!

#168.

hello you. sometimes your so annoying that i get angry.
but of course, the anger dissipated after a while.
then it comes to a point that nothing can move my calm.
ha! mebbe this is called getting used to.
how awesome.
and SUPAAA SADLY, i do not understand you. at all.

hello you. im glad you've been there all these while.
like how a true constant should be.
and of course, YOU'LL BE AWESOME LATER THEY'LL LURRRRRVE YOOOOU.
as much as i do! haha!
i sent the good luck truck back yesterday, im sure it's already in the heart of our CBD area right now. the truck can pass thru walls and people. it's gonna stay with you throughout (:

hello you. i think we're back into the same old phase of 'drifting'. i do not blame you of course. this is how you are. your theories and principles.

hello you. we haven't seen each other in such a long time. despite such close proximity everyday. the only part of you i see is your car in the carpark. but i know your another constant in my life, always there. we'll see each other soon. next week i hope. buried in books and notes in the library with chocolate candies cookies biscuits and lunch at our favourite stall. and yes, this is public declaration for a date miss lim.

hello you. your old and wise and all-knowing. you know me best despite me whining and talking rubbish half the time. you told me sleeping can lose weight. that was so funny. but now cannot sleep luh. later cannot study finish leh! study for now, leave the biggest part of us by itself. it'll come back if everyone wants it to.

hello ME, back to finance!

#160.

ready

get set

GO.

it'll be tons wonderful if your can be there for meeeeee.

(:

and so, the end of sem battle begins. with deadlines for almost every single module.
and the final exam for marketing right smack in the midst of a competition saturday.
yeh plus competition is comingggg.
more friendlies, lorries, mudboy driver and girlfriend, polo balls, paddles, life vests and vampires!
and yes la, smack all the stupid balls away from MY beloved goal post.
and whack all the clever balls all hard and mighty into YOUR goal post.

time to nap!

#158.

recess week is almost over and i think i spent the week feeling bored, despite having many many things to do. bestest says i do not know how to deal with free time and mebbe that's true.

yesterday two of my favourite people texted me goodnight but i fell asleep feeling quite sad.

playing canoe polo is like smoking. and black crooks is the cigarette. but it's diminishing.

a constant will always be a constant like what the term means, regardless of where, when and what.

not purposely means naturally.

i like things round and fat and their names all happen to begin with the letter P. penguins, pooh and purple elephants.

nus is the coldest school ever, cos i stopped forging good friendships. i'm contented with what i already have. warmth in school is found at the pool.

this is random but not emo, and i love status quos =)

#152.

last sunday was a full black crooks trng before the break for exams. and it was super fun :D not so much of what we did. but cos all of us were there on a beautiful sunday morning (: and we played a full game. black crooks vs. black crooks 5 on 5! haha it was the first time we played against each other so cool hahaha. black crooks for lifeeee~

mugging at home has been the worst thing ever. i sleep like a log. and i sleep like a log more often than a pig. so off to science library on monday and tuesday. and it wasn't a pb-planned canoe polo study day but 7 crooks kinda just 不约而同! hahaha jan's favourite cheng yu. so we all happened to be at science library. and it's good cos i don't fall asleep there. but what's not good is that i like to freeze like a penguin in the igloo ( i know igloos belong to the eskimos but i just like the idea) and the twix and all the rubbish snacks isn't gonna cure my horrible phlegmy cough. and yes i've decided not to be stubborn and start eating medicine and drinking liang cha cos this half sick feeling is getting no fun. and many sorries to mummy who has been scolding nagging for me to eat medicine.

and my bestest is in europe and i missed him online yesterday but his long email kept me quite entertained this morning. haha first day overseas syndrome! i wanna be there too especially with the terrible studying here sigh. nvm gonna be over soon. means fantamazing soon (:

and this exams. very scary. very very. i've never skipped so many classes before. so revision is such a long and arduous journey. lots of good lucks have funs for funshine please.

time to hit the sacks.
wake early don't snooze and snooze promise.

#150.

cp can up my mood index alot. quite alot actually.
and it's not bad. this is healthy emotional attachment.

jap oral exam today. my partner's the tall-as-the-door guy in class who can make the whole lecture theatre laugh. he's really funny. and really tall like SUPPPPERRR takai desu yo. the oral was so chopchop finish (: it was fun more than anything else.

then wj, jacq and i had our weekly thursday talking session before finance tutorial. despite always having time to do the tutorial or study for the quiz, we end up talking and laughing and talking about random stuff (: (:

jan came for my finance tutorial today! and cos i didn't save a seat for her, we were having this page long paper convo we passed to and fro during the tutorial cos we weren't sitting together. actually i think this is the most we've ever talked within an hour. hahaha my open crush what!

niang debre newlove sandra and i had a nice joglaughgossip run to clementi and back. i think running on the narrow thing on the highway feels pretty funny. the other time i ran with debre that thing looked never ending and we thought we were lost! .... on the highway. hahahaha.

newlove's back at trng (: faster faster blackcrooks. everyone come back! i think you can't remove cp from funshine or funshine from cp. or blackcrooks from funshine. or funshine from blackcrooks.

31 days to the fantamazing holiday :D