September

Finally got to know that song I've been wanting to find out.

It's how ironic that the title is September, by Earth, Wind & Fire.

& frankly speaking, ihateseptember.

Every year, something horriblyterribly huge happens in this month. In a bad way. In some way I'll never forget. Something or someone important/huge/i treasure disappears.

& of cos, Oktober shines because of gloomyemo September.

Usually.

But I think it's difficult to be happy again. This time round. After all those times.

Maybe I can never get over the fact of losing something. Because it's not worth all that I've sacrificed, all that I've gone through. & it sucks cos I actually only got over last September this year. Honestly, I can't believe I still held some hope all those months. & people who say it shows that the past was meaningful & worthwhile since you cared for so long? It is fucking untrue. 'Cos it's no longer there anymore. Whether the past was meaningful or not. I used to be a believer in living by the moment and being immersed in short-lived happiness. But not anymore.

'Cos memories are haunting. Sekrets of the past will come back and throw you off-guard. & I don't wanna lose anything more in the present due to the past.

omg do you remember this

Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups.

(and so are expectations)

philophobia

hahaha that's one word i know that pottie doesn't. funshinetan winsssss! for once. and it's more for the emotional attachment, not the love.

paranormal activity last friday put me in a state of suspense. cos i kept wondering when the ghost was gonna appear.

2012 today was armageddonly exciting.

school has finally ended. i've got two papers to go. and i'll be done with nus for the sem, for the year, for next sem. till 2010's summer is over.

it has been so rainy these days. i wish i was always at home, rather than being caught in the rain everytime im heading to school or back.

i hate being the older one but not acting like i am. i hate being myself and not being accepted. sometimes i think nothing i do is ever enough cos im never who you expect me to be. but that's just the way i am.

and im still who i am. when the sky is going to collapse someone will lift it up for me.

#143.

see, it's not exclusive.

it's not even priority.

snap out of it. not happy then go and sleep lor.

******* ******** ******** ******* *******

this weekend is the last two days of nat champs.
over the past 2 weekends, i've gotten my clean sheet. finally.

2 clean sheets. the first offical blackcrooks victory. and despite all the ups and downs, we're 3rd after the round robin round for ivp. and it's all out for the semis on saturday.

no matter how much it takes,

#138.

sometimes i like how everything just happens at the same time, or one after another and overwhelm me.

before embarking on the genting trip, i had a huge quarrel with my parents. because i didnt ask for their permission before confirming the trip. i've got to admit im in the wrong but she didnt have to go so far in her reprimanding. and obviously i got my way. i always do. sometimes im sick of always getting my way, getting what i want.

and during the quarrel i actually threw back all my credit cards at the mummy. almost threw the handphone cos of her constant nagging about my spending habits, the handphone bills, skipping work, going out etc etc. I AM SO SICK OF THE SAME OLD THINGS. say something new. you know i can't change. i've been like this for the longest time you've known me, papa has known me. but alright, sometimes i should stop being a spoilt brat.

i had a blast at genting with 9P (: despite falling sick on the second day. the company was superb. i think that's why we're so awake when we're back at the hotel room rather than when we're out there walking :P 9P <3

and i feel blessed. with everything i have right now. remember the chapter many of your hate? its closed now. closed for good (: mylove says im happier. i think i am. bestest says i need to get used to the space. but i thought, there was never the space. i've been busy all the while. it was always who and what i chose to be busy with. and really, no one can tell you if you've grown up. you know it yourself.

and when i came back from genting, i caught the freaking stomach flu. OMG. i didnt know stomach flu can be so bad, so painful. i was rolling in bed for the longest time i can ever remember cos i didnt dare tell mummy and papa. i thought i was going to be alright after the first time i puked. but it didn't stop. i vomitted i diarrhoea-ed thru the night. the night before training camp. so i didn't sleep a wink. and i rolled in bed in pain when i wasnt in the toilet vomitting and diarrhoea-ing till 5am when i really couldn't take it anymore. woke my parents up and mummy thought it was gastric and made me drink milk. sometimes i think mummy is such a noob at such stuff hahahaha. and of cos as noob as her, i drank the milk and made all the vomitting start again. went to the hospital and i was too scared so i didnt want to take the jab to stop the pain. but the pills didnt help so i took the jab in the end. SO RELIEVED :)

as a result, i missed training camp ): only joined them on saturday night and the friendlies on sunday. i sucked on tuesday seriously. so easily tired and panting like hell. damnnn. and i kept ZERO goals. im so damn serious. but okay, yesterday was better (: nat champs are cominggggg. go nus go crooks ((((:

im so angry that red cliff ended halfway. BOOO. when's the next one coming out! so gaowei to watch halfway ): i watched mostly cos of tony leung! heehee. anyway mummy says he's finally getting married with carina lau. like really FINALLY. i like them tgt heehee. and i bought a gold watch when i was out with zp on weds for red cliff. mylove says WHY SO UNCLE. hey its vintage alright. hahaha.

and i bought a scarf too :DD when i was out with jas yesterday. met db during her lunch hour at v8. then shopped around and we had marvelous cream together (: the idea of marvelous cream is more marvelous than the ice cream itself. hahaha. i think i've been having too much diary products since i recovered. dragged mummy to royal copahagen for cheesecake on monday. where i bumped into ki jason jas and bf! then there was the jumbo tub of yoghurt with zp on weds and marvelous cream on thurs. sweet for my sweets :D

oh and dearest jaskip bought me my current addiction. MEN'S POCKY :) bitter chocolate rocks. but i dont get why they have to associate men with it. i bet they'll make some pinko strawberry pocky and call it Ladies' Pocky or something.
alrights, this is bloody long. cos i wanna keep myself busy, be good and not go out for the first day this week. hahaha today's friday omg i know im a horrible kid oh well. so that i can ask about the bangkok trip hahaha. that's why they say everything happens for a reason.

heehee.

#135.

had a huge quarrel with the mummy last night. it was really bad cos i was shouting so hard with tears rolling down uncontrollably. i know she'll never understand so i usually take bestest's advice to walk away from the quarrel. but yesterday i just lost it. i dunno why.

i think both mummy and papa could see that i wasn't myself, shouting like that. so they left me to calm down on my own.

thank you my love for always saying text or call me when you need. my love is love <3

met jean and fengwen before the fucking irritating quarrel. and i was early for once. i waited almost an hour for them cos they were caught up at work. okay la, im the youngest and the freeest so its okay. and i've been late for almost everything lately. so being early yesterday was a good start!

we queued the looooong queue for the ramen at clarke quay central. but it was really yumyum :D

I AM SO MISSING THE RAMEN NOW.


can you see the slices of char siu. so yummy please! so soft and erm, tasty. hahaha. and the soup and the noodles :DDD but okay, this bowl is almost 20 bucks. hurhur. cos the basic bowl has almost nothing. so i added char siu and THE EGG (see below) but its worth everything.

THE EGG.

it's like hard boiled egg but the yolk's only semi cooked. my favourite. to everyone who loves eggs like skippy! debre! this is THE EGG :DDD



and we headed to azabu sabo for my all-time favourite dessert.

the warm baked sweet potato with soft serve and matcha all over.
i can never get sick of this :)

and this was one friday night well-spent :)

though i had to miss zhuipei's treat with wormie, rina, kang and wanjou. and the fact that they met MY ALL-TIME PRETTY GIRL didn't help ):
BOO. i wanna meet her too. it has been so longgggg.
pretty you.