#167.

so what if we're only a second year team.
don't doubt what we achieved last year when what we had was seventy percent first year noobs.
im sure we played like noobs, jittery and whatnot. but in circumstances we performed.
to much relief.

we said we'll change the color of the medal.
im not having self doubts. im just not too sure what we are right now.
if we're fighting, who're we fighting for?
you don't fight for yourself, you don't fight thinking that the rest are not fighting.
you fight because there's worth in fighting for everyone.

we started out playing with passion, frustration and what's important was we never blamed one another. never.
now we play thinking that we should win, we can win. but we don't care for one another anymore. the encouragement don't sound genuine. you see a tiang at an open goal. we used to shout GOOD TRY NVM LET'S GO BACK. now you see a tiang at an open goal you go AIYO as you turn or as you watch at the subline.
how many times have we gotten out of a game feeling happy and felt it was worth its while. mnay times we got out, feeling more frustrated than ever with one another, with ourselves. i don't feel like i've given up. mentally, physically. but more like my heart has given up.

we're not the same as before. we will never be. it may still work out in some way. i think this is a good break for all of us.