#87.

after being MIA for so long, im back! the past month had been very eventful, with hcanoe during cny, lots of bridge at class bench and of cos the Angel & Mortal game with junior classes. FUNKY ANGEL rocks :))) reading his letters and writing to him is so enjoyable la, not to mention all the stuff he has been showering me with. my pooh & friends collection is constantly growing :D Valentine's Day was fun as well. with all the cookies and brownies and roses and toys :) was fun preparing for it as well even though i only slept 3 hours the night before.

x-country was yesterday. am very proud of hcanoe :) 6 in top 20 competitive and 2 in top 10 mass run. above all, am very disappointed in myself. running 25th might not seem slow but comparatively it is. dunno if it's stitch of appendix that accompanied me through more than half of the run. so i stopped and walked the stretch of road for dunno how long. haha this is the first time in dunno how long that i stopped during a run. im sure no one in the team stopped. even for a second. wenyi says it's okay cos we're canoeists and not runners. and the rest of the team was very encouraging too, cos it wasnt my optimum condition after being sick and not running for quite some time. but everything boils down to the point that i gave up. and that i didnt persevere. what low mental strength i have.

and then came a series of events and conversations between my parents after i woke up this morning feeling dizzy and feeling the same pain as during the run yesterday. they thought i was still sleeping but i heard. i dunno what to say, or think, or do.

and really sorry to my dear friend for making you come online and then i didnt really say much. you rest well :)

perhaps there's really only this much i can do.
and there's always something you have to give up, to achieve a greater thing and to make everyone happy. even if it's at the expense of your own.